Bare Knuckle Diplomacy

 

Bare-knuckle Diplomacy

Mayors to settle incorporation/annexation dispute…in the ring

By Charlie Morrison

Contributing Writer

The S.C. Inter-Municipal Boxing Association has, at long last, announced a date for the fight Charleston’s been dying to see — the match-up between reigning Charleston Municipal Champion Mayor Joeseph “Little Pharaoh” Riley, and feisty one-term upstart Bill “The Woolsinator” Woolsey.

The respective promotional arms of the municipal leaders finally agreed to set the date for the bout aptly for July 4 — Independence Day. Like the past fights between Riley and various Town of James Island representatives fought outside the ring, the 15-round, bare-knuckle-style fight is sure to leave both competitors bloodied and battered. Unlike the previous legal battles fought between the two, this bout is sure to leave one fighter standing as the undisputed champion.

The bout pits a pair of competitors with vastly different styles.

At a feisty, 5’3”, 119 lbs., featherweight Riley is sure to flex his Southpaw style. Though his frame may be slight, his legendary reach is said to be state-wide.

Woolsey will lean on his high ground approach in fighting Riley. The 6’1” Woolsey will certainly use his height and perspective advantage in combating Riley’s style, which is often described as myopic. Woolsey hopes to outlast the hard-charging Riley, letting him continue to expend his resources in throwing jab after angry jab.

On a side note, noticeably absent from the pre-fight build-up is former cruiserweight champion, and Town of James Island Mayor Mary “Proud Thunder” Clark. Clark, who had on innumerable occasions threatened to take Riley “out behind the wood shed,” never proved able to bait Riley into agreeing to stepping into the ring.

 Tale of the Tape:

Name: Mayor Joseph Riley 

Nickname: “Little Pharaoh”

Home Base: City of Charleston

Reach: Seemingly infinite

Record: 10-0 (10 KOs)

Signature Punches: “Annexation Uppercut,” “Holier-than-thou Hook”

Name: Bill Woolsey

Nickname: The Woolisnator

Home Base: James Island

Reach: Island-wide

Record: 2-0 (1 KO)

Signature Punch: “Contiguity Counter-punch”

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