Highway Hijinx

CUTLINE

Signalization timing at Folly Road intersections like this one at Maybank Highway and Folly Road, were recently revealed to be an inside joke perpetrated by two SCDOT engineers

 

Highway Hijinx

SCDOT admits Folly Road traffic signalization an ‘inside joke’

By Charlie Morrison

Contributing Writer

 

The South Carolina Department of Transportation (SCDOT) announced that it had brought to a conclusion an internal investigation into rumors suggesting foul play in the organization’s synchronization of James Island’s traffic signals. The results of the investigation, revealed Friday at a press conference held at the organization’s District 6 headquarters in North Charleston, go a long way in explaining how the breakdown in organizational accountability translated into the frustration of James Island drivers. The long and short of the press conference was that frequent traffic back-ups experienced by drivers at many of James Island’s busiest intersections are the result of an “inside joke” perpetrated by a pair of as yet unnamed SCDOT District 6 engineers.

“We’ve concluded the traffic back-ups that have affected James Island, specifically at Folly and Camp roads, and the exit of the James Island Connector, are not, in fact, the result of a lack of infrastructure or long-term planning on the part of our organization, but rather an ‘inside joke’ perpetrated by a pair of SCDOT District 6 engineers,” commented SCDOT District 6 Engineering Administrator Robert T. Clark. “Both employees have been placed on administrative leave after refusing to admit the joke isn’t funny.”

Clark refused to provide details on how the stunt was specifically perpetrated, but he did say the smoking gun in the case was when Columbia-based internal investigators busted into District 6 North Charleston headquarters on Thursday of last week. Investigators discovered the two employees hovering over a traffic signalization device, giggling hysterically as cars backed up at the corner of Maybank and Folly Roads. After hovering unseen for a few moments, it became evident to the investigators the crux of the scheme involved turning a signal green, only to immediately return the signal to yellow, then again to red.

The two alleged perpetrators were detained by SLED, questioned, charged with Reckless Endangerment, and promptly pardoned by Gov. Nikki Haley.

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